fresh.

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!

Which now means I am on holidays!
Holidays + Adriana = Happiness

All this new found free time will mean I get to explore passions that have come back to me lately...
I am in the process of redecorating my room/renovating my room.. it's sadly and lamely feeling like a fresh start and a fresh me!
Ive finished some new songs and have gotten back into singing; and my guitar is no longer dusty..
Dancing is back on the scene... pathetically and oddly its bollywood at the moment but im surprisingly LOVING IT! It's so up beat and bouncy haha!
FASHION BAYBAY! Just did a new folio am in the process of getting a dress made! It was designed for me to wear to my sisters 21st...and i just bought the PERFECT red heels to go with it!
Speaking of shoes..GUESS WHO IS GETTING A WARDROBE FOR SHOES MADE!!!!!
In case you didn't guess it was me :)

Things are looking alright.
Things are feeling alright.
Things are alright.

Currently sitting here with the wonderful Dre'.

We just thought everyone should know...

KEV IS A SICKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOO

KEV HAS A BIG DICCCKKKKOOOOOOO

The reason for such a high would be that tomorrow I finish exams (Dre' finished school last week) and I will be free for a month to get outta this hell hole and have a good time.

So on that note...

FUCKEN RELAX AYE!

That is all.

below mediocre

it's not like i don't know there are many people worse off then me.

i completely get it, i do.

but i just feel like one of the unluckiest people ever.

im sick of being sick

and im tired of being tired

i dont want to go out and i dont want to stay in bed.

its the shittiest feeling.

its not the pain that bothers me, i can deal with pain

its the fact my emotions are as predictable as Melbourne weather and im as lost as Stevie wonder reading a melways.

in the end..i don't think its even that.

it's knowing people i love are getting sicker and older.

friends i love are wandering afar and forgetting who they left behind.

things i once loved to do mean nothing nowadays.

its that i have absolutely no hope left.

not enough to make me smile

not enough to make me cry

and not enough worth fighting for.

Allowed to Complain.

I need to rant.
I thought rather than keep playing nice I'd blog about you :)

It shits me that I'm your last resort...even though I'm one of your "best friends"
It shits me that every slutty little dumbass takes my spot til they fuck you over and you "miss me"
It shits me that everything is and always has been about you
but it shits me mostly I took this long to stand up for myself...

This is the last time it happens...if you fuck it up you can go back to your wishy washy, come and go, use your money then throw you out like last weeks news, useless, fucked up "friends".

THE END.

I DO.

It's a year until it's officially over..until nothing will ever be again

They say time flies when you're having fun, but no single part of this has been fun yet it feels like only yesterday I was in your arms...
I don't know what happened, or when, or why, or even how...but I know that somewhere along the lines I wandered away and blamed you for it..
It's sad that it took me so long to realize, it's more like pathetic and now I have to sit and smile and pretend that it doesn't affect me, that I am happier than ever..
I never knew how much it would hurt, I was always prepared and ready for those run-into-the-person moments...except for Saturday night
I was caught off guard...both the car and my heart broke suddenly...it was like a wound reopened. and now the scar stares at me every second of every minute of every day..

It's a year until it's officially over...until nothing will ever be again...until the bell chimes and your hand acquires a new found permanent friend...a golden symbol of love...the love I ran from.